Most likely, I'll get over this in like... a week. Just feeling bleh right now and feel like sharing.
My anxieties are really getting me down since I've already had a depressing afternoon.... with it being the 10 year anniversary of 9-11.
I have a tendency to feel down on this day in general. I don't think I will ever get it out of my head that this happened through my airport.

But anyway...

It's not that I'm depressed or anything.
I'm a REALLY happy person 90% of the time. I'm very much not a depressed person... let's start with that.
I'm pretty positive about most events in my life. Not that I try... I just always feel very happy about things.

But I'm having such anxiety over my life this month.
Everything is SO different. I really hate change.... it brings me such horrible anxiety.
I'm in a new routine. I'm back in college, newly single, changing jobs and talking to new people and old friends. Maybe it's just all too much?

ALL of these things should be new and enjoyable... and they were at first... but now I feel like I'm loosing grip on everything. I don't know how to describe it.

I think I've become a much stronger person in the past 2 years. But suddenly I feel like I'm trying desperately to keep up with these new things. Very reminiscent of the past... like freshman year of college. It's SO weird.

It might be the newly single part of me causing this. It's been a pretty long time since I've actually been single. I'm not saying I can't love myself and take care of myself. I can. I just miss having someone give THAT much of a fuck about me.



You know... for once, I feel lonely.




Not that my problems are a bigger picture than 9-11. They certainly aren't. Just sharing